NUGENT: My gun control

By Ted Nugent

Water, water, everywhere water. Know it, embrace it, manage it or drown. Same goes for cars, trucks, chain saws, knives, crowbars, blowtorches, teakettles and guns. I will not be denied the pragmatic, functional utility of anything based on the inept, clumsy, irresponsible failure of brain-dead, uncoordinated numskulls.

I will not drown; drink and drive; chain-saw massacre anyone; stumble; slice, burn or shoot myself, nor will I ever hold up a bank. So the best advice would be to think, improvise, adapt and overcome, man up, but by all means, leave me alone. You don’t ban electric guitars just because someone may have a lapse in logic, goodwill and decency and spontaneously break out into country and Western music. The vast majority of sensible people will use electric guitars as God intended and whip out good, sexy rock ‘n’ roll licks.

I need my cars, trucks, chain saws, knives, crowbars, blowtorches, scalding-hot water, guitars and guns, thank you. Amazingly, I have mastered them all, and they are all wonderful ingredients for my American dream of rugged individualism, declared independence and self-sufficiency. They all serve me well, and I am not giving up any of them. Ever.

The masses must never be controlled for the sake of the lunatic fringe. Remember “Don’t Tread on Me”? Don’t.-[source]